"No taboos, except children and animals""In for many things and no taboos except children and animals" On many BDSM related websites you can find a phrase somewhat like this one. Also many contact ads will end with a similar line, sometimes with "of course" added to it. Apparently sex with children and animals is a part of BDSM?
At this point every BDSM-er will jump up and shout: "Of course not!!" Everyone will say it has nothing to do with BDSM. When I ask them why not, they'll probably say: "Because it's A: Illegal, B: Immoral, C: without consent. Sure, and if I let them finish there will be a D: and E: and F: etc. Then the following, simple question is a logical response by me:
THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP MENTIONING IT??
Of course it has nothing to do with BDSM, but so does Backgammon. And I've never ever seen anyone placing an Ad like: Kinky young man seeks Dominant Female. In to many types of BDSM and will go all the way. No taboos except for Backgammon (of course) Or have you ever seen an Ad from a Gym saying: Many sporting possibilities except child molestation and animal sex.
BDSM is not about having sex with animals or about molesting little children. But then, why does one persist in mentioning "except ... " in so many BDSM related sites and ad's. Does it mean that child molestation and animal sex are in fact part of BDSM, but don't fit within the boundaries of this particular site or person? That's what they make it sound like. In fact they are stating that it's a normal part of BDSM.
What would mean that I, as BDSM-er, am capable of molesting a child or animal and if not, I'll clearly have to state that it is not within my boundaries of BDSM-play. NO WAY There's no way that I (as BDSM-er) am going to defend myself for something which has nothing to do with BDSM. As well as I (as BDSM-er) am not going to defend the problem of people starving in third world countries. As a person I do care, but it's got nothing to do with me being a BDSM-er. So why do we all do it anyway?
Does it mean that we, BDSM-ers, still see ourselves as freaks? perverts? creeps? That we are so eager to take the taboo out of BDSM that we started a 'politically correctness' that only accomplishes the opposite? That BDSM is a taboo, but mainly to ourselves? How are we supposed to break this taboo, get the subject on the table, get accepted, if we keep making these wrong associations which have nothing to do with BDSM and which no one asked for? The only way to do this is: Stop mentioning this subject within BDSM related items, sites and ad's. If someone brings it up and you feel the need (or are forced) to defend yourselves, just say: Sorry, but I only "do" BDSM and I'm prepared to tell you anything about it, because thát is something I dó know all about!!
Hereby I Call on all of you in the worldwide BDSM-scene to stop using this kind of phrases in any BDSM-related way. You'll be doing me, yourself, and all future BDSM-ers a great favor. BDSM is the purest form of Tender Loving Care